Choosing a Preschool When Everything Feels Like It Matters

The research is clear: what happens in the first five years of a child's life shapes the architecture of their developing brain, influences their capacity for learning, and establishes patterns that persist into adulthood. The anxiety that many parents feel when choosing a preschool is, in this sense, well-founded. But research also points toward something more hopeful: the factors that matter most are observable, and parents can learn to recognize them.

This guide synthesizes what developmental scientists, early childhood educators, and program evaluators have learned about quality in preschool settings. It is designed to help you move beyond marketing materials and first impressions toward a clearer understanding of what to look for—and what to ask—when you visit programs for your child.

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The Science of Teacher-Child Interactions

Decades of research point to a single factor that matters more than curriculum, facilities, or credentials: the quality of interactions between teachers and children. The Classroom Assessment Scoring System (CLASS), developed by researchers at the University of Virginia, measures these interactions across three domains:

Emotional Support

Teachers create a warm, positive climate. They are sensitive to children's cues and respond appropriately to distress, curiosity, and excitement. Children feel safe enough to take risks, ask questions, and make mistakes.

Classroom Organization

Teachers manage behavior proactively rather than reactively. Transitions are smooth. Children know what's expected and can predict what comes next. There is a productive hum rather than either chaos or rigid silence.

Instructional Support

Teachers extend children's thinking through open-ended questions, encourage language use, and provide feedback that helps children understand not just whether they got something right but why.

Studies using CLASS have found that high scores predict gains in vocabulary, early math skills, and social-emotional development. One longitudinal study found that children in classrooms with strong instructional support showed vocabulary gains equivalent to several additional months of learning over a school year.

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What to Watch During a Visit

When you visit a preschool, you are looking for evidence of these interaction qualities in action. Here's what to observe:

Physical Positioning

Are teachers at children's eye level? Do they kneel, sit on low chairs, or squat to engage with children? Teachers who consistently talk over children's heads are literally and figuratively distant from them.

Listening Posture

When a child speaks, does the teacher stop and listen? Do they ask follow-up questions? Do they give children time to finish their thoughts, or do they rush ahead?

Response to Distress

When a child is upset—which will likely happen during any typical morning—how do teachers respond? Do they acknowledge the feeling before redirecting? Do they offer comfort without dismissing the emotion?

Language Environment

Listen to the complexity of language teachers use. Are they labeling objects with specific words ("hexagon" rather than just "shape")? Are they narrating what they're doing? Are they engaging children in extended conversations rather than just giving directions?

Question Types

Count how many open-ended questions you hear versus closed questions. "What do you think will happen if...?" builds thinking skills in ways that "Is that a blue block?" does not.

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Staff-to-Child Ratios: The Numbers That Matter

Ratios affect everything: how quickly a teacher can respond to a child who needs help, how much individual attention each child receives, and whether teachers have the capacity for the kind of responsive interactions that drive development.

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) recommends:

• For 3-year-olds: No more than 9 children per teacher, maximum group size of 18
• For 4- and 5-year-olds: No more than 10 children per teacher, maximum group size of 20

State licensing requirements vary significantly. Here's what several large states require for preschool-age children:

Notice the significant variation. New York requires nearly twice as many teachers per child as Texas for three-year-olds. When evaluating a program, ask not just what ratio they maintain, but how it compares to both state minimums and NAEYC recommendations.

Critical follow-up question: Does the ratio change during certain times of day? Some programs reduce staffing during nap time, early morning, or late afternoon. Ask specifically about the times your child would be there.

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Safety and Supervision: The Foundation

Before evaluating anything else, verify that a program meets basic safety requirements:

Licensing

Every state requires childcare centers to be licensed. Ask to see the current license. Better yet, look up the program in your state's online database before your visit. Many states publish inspection reports and any violations online.

Building Security

How do visitors enter the building? Is there a sign-in process? Can anyone walk in, or is there controlled access? During drop-off and pickup, how does the program verify who is authorized to take each child?

Active Supervision

This means more than being in the same room with children. Teachers should be positioned to see all children, actively scanning the environment, and moving to prevent problems before they occur. During your visit, notice whether teachers position themselves with their backs to walls rather than to children.

Emergency Preparedness

Ask about drill schedules for fire, earthquake, or lockdown (depending on your region). How would you be notified in an emergency? Where would children go if the building had to be evacuated?

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Red Flags

Certain observations should prompt serious questions—or prompt you to look elsewhere:

Resistance to Observation

Quality programs welcome parent observation. If a director discourages you from visiting during regular hours or watching the classroom in action, ask why—and trust your instincts about the answer.

Unusual Quiet

A classroom full of preschoolers should have a certain volume. If a room is unnaturally quiet, children may be over-controlled rather than engaged. Look for the sound of conversation, laughter, and purposeful activity.

Teacher Disengagement

Teachers who are on their phones, clustered together talking to each other rather than with children, or sitting passively while children play are not providing the interactions that support development.

Harsh Language

Listen to how teachers speak to children, especially during stressful moments. Raised voices, sarcasm, or belittling comments are never appropriate. Teachers should speak to children with the same respect they would show another adult.

Cookie-Cutter Art

If every child's art project looks identical—same colors, same placement, same result—that signals an emphasis on teacher-directed products over child-led exploration. Young children's art should look like it was made by young children.

Excessive Screen Time

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen use in early childhood. If children are parked in front of tablets or TVs during your visit, ask about the program's screen policy—and how often that policy reflects reality.

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Questions That Reveal Program Culture

Beyond safety and ratios, these questions can reveal how a program thinks about children and families:

What happens when a child has a hard day?

The answer reveals discipline philosophy. You want to hear about support, redirection, and understanding causes of behavior—not punishment, isolation, or shame.

How do you handle separation anxiety?

Especially important for younger or more sensitive children. Good programs have strategies and patience; they don't rush parents out the door or make children feel bad for missing their families.

How long have the teachers in this classroom been here?

High turnover disrupts children's attachment relationships and often signals problems with working conditions. If a program can't keep teachers, ask why.

What training and support do teachers receive?

Ongoing professional development matters. Teachers who are learning are teachers who are growing—and programs that invest in their staff are signaling their values.

How will you communicate with me?

You should understand, before enrolling, how you'll hear about daily activities, developmental progress, and any concerns. The method matters less than the commitment.

Can you tell me about a child who struggled here and how you helped them?

The best programs can describe—in appropriately general terms—how they've supported children with various challenges. This question reveals problem-solving capacity and commitment to inclusion.

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Preschool Tour Evaluation Checklist

Print this or save it to your phone. Rate each item during your visit.

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After the Visit

Trust your observations, but verify your impressions. Consider:

• Look up the program's licensing record online. Every state maintains a database.
• Talk to current families if possible. Ask what they wish they'd known before enrolling.
• Visit again at a different time of day. Morning tours show a program at its best; afternoon visits reveal stamina.
• Pay attention to your child's reaction if they visited with you. Young children can't articulate their impressions, but they show them.

The research is clear that quality matters—and that quality is observable in the daily interactions between teachers and children. By knowing what to look for, you can move beyond marketing materials toward a genuine understanding of whether a program will help your child thrive.

Sources

• Pianta, R.C., La Paro, K.M., & Hamre, B.K. Classroom Assessment Scoring System (CLASS). Paul H. Brookes Publishing, 2008.
• National Association for the Education of Young Children. NAEYC Early Learning Program Accreditation Standards and Assessment Items, 2019.
• California Department of Social Services. Title 22, Division 12, Chapter 1: Child Care Center General Licensing Requirements.
• Texas Health and Human Services. Minimum Standards for Child-Care Centers, Chapter 746.
• Florida Department of Children and Families. Child Care Facility Handbook.
• Arizona Department of Health Services. Child Care Facilities Rules, Article 7.
• New York State Office of Children and Family Services. Day Care Center Regulations.
• American Academy of Pediatrics. "Media and Young Minds." Pediatrics, 2016.
• Burchinal, M. "Measuring Early Care and Education Quality." Child Development Perspectives, 2018.
• Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. "The Foundations of Lifelong Health Are Built in Early Childhood." 2010.